Waiting and trust

So we're going to get the results of the biopsy tests (called the "path report", short for "pathology"...look at me learning doctor lingo. Can I audition for Grey's Anatomy yet?) tomorrow afternoon. We've been told that it's shaping up to be less of a straightforward diagnosis than some are, so just getting the report won't mean we'll have a definitive course of action tomorrow afternoon.

So the waiting continues. We're not the first people who've gone through this waiting, and certainly won't be the last. So we just need to wait.

I still want things to be done NOW for him to end his suffering and get going on a treatment. Every day we don't do something is a day more that the cancer has to grow. But at the same time, the worst thing you can do is "Do something! Anything!". It's like being on a road trip with a specific destination and saying, "Drive somewhere! Anywhere!". That just doesn't help anyone.

So I'm learning more and more what it means to wait. To wait means to trust.

To trust that the medical professionals we have working for us are doing their jobs. They're not slacking, they're not indifferent, and they're not torturing us. They're doing what they need to do to provide the best medical care there is. There's nothing we can do to make it happen any faster.

To trust that just because we know more about the spots and masses now than we did 3 days ago doesn't mean it's gone from nothing to all of this in 3 days. (And therefore will have taken over his whole body before we get treatment. (Just a glimpse into my mind, there...).)

To trust that God, who's been with us our whole lives and has shown Himself to be faithful over and over and over again, is still with us and will continue to be with us.

Needing to wait means that I need to trust. Waiting is an act of faith.

Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.

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